Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we suggest a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever produced in India back once again to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: this is certainly a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine such as a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three nationwide honors, Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi ended up being made to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down such as the online in Delhi NCR through the police-farmer clashes. Not before providing Rihanna an accident program on democracy by trivialising rights that are human and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by herself the honour of sitting on a top horse and dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza pieces.

She extends to determine how they truly are designed to experience legislation giving more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are only ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking Not The Right Qs. Here’s What you should about be Tweeting

But Rihanna must not for the moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman continues to be in the dark about do’s and here do n’ts’s a listing she should avoid:

  • The protestors whom passed away on Delhi borders.
  • The town China has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
  • A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for bull crap he never cracked.
  • Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, that will continue steadily to stay in prison for public violence she did not incite.
  • And thus a great many other individual legal rights activists and social employees.

Here’s exactly exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. Exactly why are Indians rushing down to Maldives rather than Barbados for Instagrammable holiday photos? Why did Jahangir provide East Asia the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and looking forward to Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or even a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors built in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we’re able to allow you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to see silver within the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

Its pretty obvious you will be woefully unaware which our federal government may be the thing that is best to own occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Exactly Exactly Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you have got currently done us damage that is much gotten the entire world to generally share one thing apart from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting caps that are polar shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at globe leaders.

Now Kangana that is poor will compelled to offer a thumbs down seriously to Thunberg. Ask her to function on her behalf anger management issue. View good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a buddy and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. Forget about dancing at Indian weddings for you. Particularly the big ones that are fat India. You have ‘hit your toe with your hammer’.

Although we carry on

efforts to discredit you, we humbly give you advice to please restore your meddling foreign hand and why don’t we criminalise protests, take down college pupils, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright reporters, in comfort.

You are receiving inside our means of letting lapdogs thrive.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Take a seat, you trick. Kangana will undoubtedly be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(A teacher not sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing for a whim essay writer after making her work. She’s got an opinion on almost everything, fiction or fact, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or brief. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This will be a individual weblog and the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for them.)

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